i want to hit bottom. well, at least that's the plan. for now.

i would like to live a tiny life. not as in, tiny soaps, tiny everything. but more like, a short-term tiny life. you tell yourself, this is what i'm going to do during this short period of time, then after that, you formulate a different lifestyle, live according to that for a while, then after that time period, another formula, another lifestyle. and this will go on for as long as you want. maybe until you hit bottom. wherever, whatever that is.

i'd like to think i'm on a two-year plan now. half-way through it, actually. the plan is, work full time for two years, pay off my parents for half of my college tuition, possibly buy a new cool car, start up an emergency fund, which will never be used unless there's a real emergency. so that's post-graduation. and right now, there's about a year left in this plan. i'm going to have to move on soon.

i'm now thinking about the second two-year plan post-graduation. maybe go to grad school. (only because everyone's doing it.) i'm hoping my job will let me work part-time because that's the only way to do grad school and be able to pay for it. i will also have to continue paying for the car if i decide to buy it now. then, definitely move out of my parents' house. if i'm not moved out by the end of next summer, please shoot me. or kidnap me and force me to give you rent money.

after that, who knows? maybe join the peace corps and go on a two-year sabbatical from work, if they let me, or quit it entirely. or maybe not join the peace corps at all. then i'll just be working until i die. so then, there's no third two-year plan post-graduation. not yet. i have three years to figure all that out.

but for now, all i want is to hit bottom. i don't know yet exactly what "bottom" is, but i'm hoping that i'll know it when i get there.