i used to have problems sleeping, but now i can never wake up. on time. especially on a weekday when i have to go to work. i don't know which is worse, not sleeping or not waking up. but what i'm learning now is that i really have to be careful about what i wish for.

and it doesn't only apply to my dysfunctional sleep schedule. for the past few years, my life has been controlled by my wishes, most of them i've successfully gotten, but are now threatening to pose more hassles for me. i used to think that if i got everything that i wanted, i'd be happier, but it's not true all the time. i don't get the happiness that i want, so i keep wanting more, thinking that more things will somehow make up for what i didn't get the previous times. so then now i have all these things that i don't know what to do with.

i won't even detail any examples here because if you're in my closest circle, then you already know. and i always say this. everything that i got in the past only brought temporary happiness, and now they are the very cause of why i get sad when i'm alone.

so i'm not going to wish i had more free time. i'm not going to wish i didn't have to go to work so i could see more sunshine and be at the beach on a wednesday morning. i'm not even going to wish i was brave enough to take a detour from this life.

it'd be cool to take a little detour because i'm young and have no other responsibilities besides myself. probably not even that. i don't really feel responsible for my own body. it just exists. but sometimes i think that this whole detour idea might actually be catastrophic in the end. and that's what i'm scared of.

it just sucks that every time i wish for something and i get it, it always ends up not being the thing that i was actually looking for. i guess it's because i don't really know what i want, so i just pick whatever sounds cool at the time and not think ahead to what i'll feel about it in the future.

so now, the burning question is, SHOULD I GET A 370Z? but i bet you my life savings that Doughnut will say, "noooo....get a Nismo!!!"