i've been meaning to write about this, but it's just now that i found time to sit down and write. winter break, baby! woot!

i got these boxes of see's candies from my lil sis's fundraiser thing at school. then i suddenly remembered forrest gump. life is like a box of chocolates; you'll never know what you're gonna get. unless u get it, of course.

but when i thought about it, i realized forrest gump was wrong. life isn't like a box of chocolates. and it's not that you'll never know what you're getting. you actually know what you're getting yourself in to. so i say: life is like eating a box of chocolates; it's taking a chance at whether or not you'll get the one that you like. and if you do get the kind you like, then good for you. if not, you eat it anyway because you don't wanna put back the piece that you already have bitten. and even when you keep getting that horrible piece every time, you still keep buying those fancy boxes of chocolates because you like taking chances. because you know that you'll eventually get that piece that you really want. then once you do, you'll start the whole process again.

i've been taking a lot of chances in the past year. i take my chance at school. some days when i'm dog-tired and lazy, i sleep long hours and hope i'll get lucky on my midterms. most of the time i get lucky. the ones i know show up on the test. sometimes i put things off so bad that i just close my eyes and hope that deadlines get pushed. twice it happened, i think. i take my chance on the road. i change lanes without looking over my shoulders. if traffic permits, i go at least 50 on the surface streets and 80 on the freeway. i seriously thought 70 was the limit on the freeway. and i swear if the dmv person who tested me were with me when i drive, she'd take a pair of scissors out and cut my driver's license with them. but i guess what i really want to say is that i take chances in life. i do things without thinking through them. especially my secret life. we've gone as far as we could go. i don't regret it, but i think i'm gonna slow it down a bit. just for now.

i can't talk about it here because i know that one of these days i'm gonna link my AIM profile to this blog. i'll take my chance at letting other people read this, and when that day comes, i sure hope i won't get judged badly.

and it sucks sometimes to know that i can't spit out the chocolate pieces that i've already eaten. but then again, like any other candy, chocolates are good, and if i had to take more chances in the future, i'd take them. i might be emotionally unstable for a while, but it shouldn't last for a long time. i just don't want to wake up one day when i'm 50 and regret not having done the things that i had the urge to do. i still think i'm taking life light and slow, even though it doesn't seem like that. i'm 20, and i believe this is the time in a person's life to let loose because there aren't real obligations yet. but i'm gonna take it slower with my secret life just because i don't want my life to spin out of control. my life has been structured for as long as i can remember, so this right here is fairly new.

and so, cheers to my secret life. cheers to my risks. cheers to my life of taking chances and going for what i want.