so here's my new year's resolution (and i better keep it):

whatever you do, don't make out with your friends. if you do, don't do it a second time. and if you do it a second time, say yes when they ask you to go out with them. don't say no because you don't know what you're missing. and if they don't ask you, stop. get out of the making out situation. and if they're too irresistible and you just can't stop making out with them (i.e. you want experience, you like the thrill, whatever it is), keep yourself from having feelings for them. try not to get yourself hurt.

you might say that you won't get yourself hurt anyway because you're only friends with benefits. the truth is you'll start hurting later. you'll see that there's no point and that you're just wasting time. and it's true. and then it's too late. you're hurting and feeling like sht. i think it's at this point where you start fallling. don't even start.

as badly as i'm hurting right now, i'm confident to say that i don't regret any of it. whatever happened to eight years of catholic school doesn't bother me at all. if i ever had to do it again, i would at least do the first half. maybe up to the first nine months. it didn't go bad until after that anyway. my only regret, though, is that i fell for this person. and i did fall hard.

i guess it doesn't really hurt until you fall hard and realize there's nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, and no point in going on. it's one hell of a lessoned learned. don't fall hard. it's bad for you. don't do anything stupid. it's bad for you too. don't be like me cuz now i don't know what to do.