i love that everything seems to fall in place. they're all where i want them to be, but at the same time i'm afraid of what's going to happen next.

i don't trust life. it can be very tricky when you least expect it. right now everything is good. but what will happen later? i know all these things that i'm doing right now will eventually converge in to this one big thing, and i don't know if it'll be good or bad.

i feel so out of control. i'm not in control of anything, not even myself. and i can't stop it.