i'm going to be lame and list the (PG-7) reasons why i would make a super amazing girlfriend.

[1.] i make awesome food. granted, they're all pretty basic, but they're still damn good. mashed potatoes, pasta in either red or white sauce (i could learn how to make pink sauce or orange sauce too if you asked me nicely), burgers in 10+ varieties, stir fry anything, fried rice, vegetable soup, corn bread from a box. i pure deliciousness. also hate eating out because half the time i always think i could make it better (except maybe Boiling Crab and Albertacos stuff), and the other half, i think it's just a waste of money. everything is just so overpriced if you don't make it yourself. it's like going out for an oil change when you or someone you know how to do it. it doesn't make financial sense.

[2.] i may be high maintenance, but i maintain myself. you don't have to take me out to places or buy me things. i can do that on my own. i also feel weird when people insist on paying for my stuff or when they give me presents. it feels so wrong, especially if i know they're struggling with money or if i make more money than they do.

[3.] i have a sweet car, and i won't ever obligate you to drive me anywhere. i think the only exemption would be if i was half-passed out drunk somewhere and me driving wasn't an option. but of course, if i had a boyfriend, i wouldn't be half-passed out anywhere. because i wouldn't need to.

[4.] i'm smart and polite (i think). i won't look like a dumbass when you introduce me to your family/friends. i won't embarass you, and i won't say stuff like "she don't" and "he ain't" or use any cuss words. i also read quite a lot, mostly literature and some current events, so i guess i'm pretty well-informed and can carry a decent conversation.

[5.] i'm not possessive at all. if you want to go out on a friday night without me, i won't give you hell about it. what right do i have to tell you not to go out drinking with your friends? i'm not your mother. i'll sit at home with a pint of ben&jerry's and watch some dodgers action (baseball season only) or read a book or shoot some nyquil and sleep awesomely.

tragically, i am temporarily off the market right now. but i will gladly accept boyfriend applications beginning June 2011, so watch out for that. also, come check out this blog around March/April 2011, and i will post more information on how to turn in your application and the qualifications you must meet before you apply.