how do you know who your real friends are?

if you ask the The Alcoholic Chick and The Major Instigator, they'll tell you that your real friends are those who you hung out with this summer. i think there's truth in that, but it's hard to be completely sure.

so i say, your real friends are those who, at the very least, still talk to you even though they don't need/want anything from you anymore.

i guess as a friend, you always want to make your friends happy so you give them whatever you can give them. not just because you want to win their friendship but because you care about them. you don't want them to get bored so you hang out with them. and if they ask you to do them a favor, no matter how big or how small, you do it because you care. and you know that as a friend, it's your responsibility to make sure they're doing okay. you hug them when you know they need a hug. you talk to them (sometimes endlessly) when you know they need someone to talk to. or you just chill with them just because it feels right and it feels good. and they're nice to you just because they want to be nice to you, not because they feel obligated. they're just naturally nice and you know they'll always be there for you when you need them.

so that's your real friend. they're true to you. they'll tell you if you're hurting them and you can tell them if they're hurting you. and even though you never get tired of fighting with them, they never get tired of making up with you. they're always ready to overlook your stubbornness and insecurity and drama queen-ness and your being a psycho. they tell you things will be okay even though you think otherwise. and they do everything in their power to make things better for you. they accept you for who you are and what you do. it kills them sometimes but they just want you to be happy. they let you go because they know "the only way to show caring is to give something up."

a fake friend would be the opposite of what i just described. they tell you your friendship matters to them a lot, but when the time comes when there's nothing left for you to give them, they stop talking to you. they're not your friend anymore. they make you dance with them to make some random chick jealous then use your car to move their sh*t from place to place. and when it's your turn to ask them a very small favor, like go to the bookstore to check something for you, they're suddenly "too busy" to walk the 200 yards to the bookstore. they promise you they'll do it when they find time, but in the end, they don't even bother to tell you that they're not doing you the little favor anymore. they keep you hanging, and you never hear from them anymore.

but i'm so over it.

so here's to all my real friends. i heart you all.