van wilder is my hero.

last night i had nothing better to do so i watched van wilder. the story itself is shallow, but what i like about it the most is that it has a lot of subtle life lessons. well, not really. but van talks about life like he's the master of it.

"sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you, even if you know it's someplace you know you're not supposed to be."

i wish i had paid attention to this a year ago. yeah, it's been exactly a full year. the truth is, i was so afraid that i didn't want to let myself go and do what i really wanted. i don't even remember what i was afraid of. i think i said something about commitment, but that wasn't entirely true. i mean, if you think about it, everything is a commitment. school is a commitment. self is also a commitment. even beating the damn yellow light is a commitment. i was never afraid of any of those, but why did i say commitment? i seriously don't remember.

but anyway, i knew where my heart was leading me, but i went against it. i wasn't even sure if i wasn't supposed to be there or not, but i chose not to follow my heart anyway. and now i'm dying. not really, but i feel bad.

so yeah, next time listen to van wilder.